Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

What are some reasons for the widespread dislike of President Trump? In your opinion, has he been a good or bad president?

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

Why do I want to suck cock tonight?

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I actually pay taxes

I have a reading level above third grade

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It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t cotton to rapists

What are women's true thoughts and feelings on bestiality?

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

What contributed to the popularity of The Beatles' song 'Yesterday'? Was it due to its simplicity, lyrics, or other factors?

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

Why do women consider 80% of men as unattractive?

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

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I can read

I see through liars

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

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I took the same Oath and took it seriously

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

Why do many women wear sleeveless shirts, more so than men?

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I can count

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I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

If freedom of speech is absolute, how come it's not applied for private spaces and for the Internet?

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

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I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

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I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t buy bullshit

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”